I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
