I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
