My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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