yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
