Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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