well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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