Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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