its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
