just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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