i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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