Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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