This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My cat gives me a boner
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The best revenge is premature balding
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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