meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
