Swine flu. Run for my life!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Even my vagina gasped.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
