I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
