This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize