youre lurking in front of me
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
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