Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
