haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Randomize
