tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
