I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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