There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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