Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
