Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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