We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
