Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
