Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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