I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
