Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
