Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
