At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
