I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize