worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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