I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
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she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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