Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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