I want to make a zoo with you.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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