he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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