I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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