i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
