Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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