Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
