Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
