you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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