pop tarts are not kleenex
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
