the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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