Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
