Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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