Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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