How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
there was a trapeze. enough said
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
