Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I want to stick my p in your. b.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
