so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The power of my boobs compel you
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
