Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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