He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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