I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
