I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
