i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
