I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Randomize
