One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
