dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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