my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
do nipples grow back?
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