Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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