thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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