Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
