Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
