Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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