There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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