no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
